You know you're a Madison Mallards' intern when:

You know you’re a Madison Mallards’ intern when:

-You paint everything green, well, “Old Virginia Green” to be exact, and by the first week you’ve changed the words to an LL Cool J song, saying, “You down with OVG? Yeah, you know me.”

-You’ve done three complete circles around the ballpark’s perimeter in trying to find one of the team’s two drills for your project. When that fails you paint something green.

-You’ve named the team’s four-wheeler, “Tammy,” and often use walkie-talkies to sing out phrases like, “Has anyone seen Tammy?” and “I hope Tammy isn’t cheating on me.”

-You move so many kegs that you tweak muscles you never knew existed in the human body. But knowing that so many thousands of people depend on you, and your frothy beverages, you no longer feel pain. “Go on beer man, do your thing,” the people chant.

-You lock your keys in your car prior to donning the Maynard G. Mallard costume for eight hours to go business-to-business with a local radio station. Now that’s a predicament where having a mascot head nearby is handy. Moreover, it’s much less embarrassing when a human-sized duck locks his keys in his car.

-You’ve driven the rented mechanical lift so much that you fantasize about taking it through the Culver’s drive-through just down Northport Drive.

-You’ve had the opportunity to experience home openers for two different baseball organizations.

-You wake up in cold sweats after hearing someone whisper “Hex Head Bit” over and over again. Then you realize it was just you.

-You now love ballpark food, whether you like it or not. And you now know how to make a chicken sandwich 42 different ways. Ever try a Cuban Chicken Sammy?

-You’ve sprayed the ballpark’s pavement enough times that you A) could draw the park’s drainage patterns blind-folded, and B) probably have athlete’s foot. I’d probably be concerned about the former.

-You laugh at your so-called “9-5” friends and family members, as they don’t know that the fun really begins at 7:05 p.m.

-In your first month you bought a cape; went to a craft store; drove to Wisconsin Dells in a 1985 Dodge Minivan, aptly called “Big Blue”; taped a little league game; made an appearance as Maynard in a John Deere commercial; and drove to 170 miles to Wausau to catch a glimpse of the Mallards.

-You probably have bled on the job or have had near severe sunburn. Hey, you win some and you lose some.